Cat5 Industries

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This page was pillaged from Uncyclopedia's "Cat5 Industries".

Cat5 Industries is a large multinational corporation offering e-business consulting, e-war profiteering, dangerous chemical manufacturing and small novelty toys sold in grocery stores vending machines near the front of the store. Cat5 Industries was started by Super Villain Cat5. Cat5 Industries' stock symbol is EVIL.

Locations and Industries

C5I Miami

Cat5 Industries' Miami location specializes in manufacturing of so-called dirty bombs, which are highly compressed clusters of lint, mud, and cat hair. Although these dirty bombs cause relatively flew casualties except in the immediate area of detonation, they overwhelm a city with an intolerable odor of cat hair and lint which mentally prepares its population for invasion and occupation.

C5I Boston

Although historically the Boston office has exclusively handled assassination plannings, it has now expanded into the scratching post industry too.

Corporate Culture

Cat5 Industries' official slogan is "do be evil". C5I offers generous benefits and career opportunities for motivated individuals, including two weeks paid vacation, scratching posts, free meals on Fridays and yarn. However, it has a strict dress code.