Best Fucking Macaroni and Cheese

Prepared by Yanthor at Megafest 7.2.

Ingredients

• 3 1/2 cups large elbow macaroni
• 10 ounces Velveeta cheese, cut into 1-inch squares
• 10 ounces white cheddar cheese, cut into 1-inch squares
• 15 ounces gruyere cheese, shredded
• 2 cups monterey jack and cheddar cheese blend, shredded (combined)
• 4 ounces cream cheese (room temp.)
• 2/3 cup sour cream
• 1 1/3 cups heavy cream
• 1 1/3 cups half-and-half
• 1 egg
• 2 2/3 tablespoons flour
• 1 tablespoon worcestershire sauce
• 1 teaspoon garlic powder
• 1 teaspoon onion powder
• 1 teaspoon mustard powder
• 1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper
• 1/8 teaspoon nutmeg (fresh if you have it)
• 1 teaspoon kosher salt
• 1 pinch paprika
• 1 tablespoon fresh chives (optional for garnish)

Preparation

1. Grease a 13x9 nonstick metal baking pan with 1 tbsp. butter
2. Preheat oven to 350
3. Prepare macaroni according to package directions, cook until al dente
4. Add a pinch of salt and a dash of olive oil to the boiling water while cooking
5. Drain pasta well and pour into the baking pan
6. In a large mixing bowl, add the heavy cream, half-and-half, and sour cream
7. Break the cream cheese into smaller pieces and add it to the bowl
8. Add the egg, flour, worcestershire, garlic and onion powder, dry mustard, cayenne pepper, and nutmeg.
9. Combine very well with a wire whisk to break up the cream cheese. It will still look lumpy when your done.
10. Place and push down the Velveeta and white cheddar cheese cubes into the pasta. Work your way around the whole dish, through and toward the middle (they don't have to be completely pushed to the bottom because they will spring up, but just push them down as best you can). Now sprinkle the gruyere cheese evenly over the top.
11. Pour the mixture on top evenly, covering all of it
12. Gently shake the pan afterwards to make sure that the liquid is even
13. Push down and make little holes in the mixture with your fingers. (You're just helping to get some of that gruyere down deeper below the surface)
14. Sprinkle the jack-and-cheddar combo over the mixture and sprinkle the paprika on top
15. Put in the oven on the middle rack
16. Bake until brown and bubbly (30-45 minutes) (it needed the full 45 minutes at Jaeger and Kiesa's house)